Depressed But Not Lost I Am Here

Depressed but Not Lost I Am Here!!

Depression and anxiety may be part of what you are, but it is not who you are.

I went through an extremely tough time from 2013-15 where I suffered from stress and anxiety which was the result of personal workplace bullying and intimidation. I suppose I was a whistle blower, who had highlighted the suspect workings and breaches of laws, policies and procedures in my workplace.

I had thought that because I had accumulated a years worth of evidence and that I was an honest, reliable, truthful person who had spent 29 years with the Company, that the workplace systems would come out in my favour. I was blind to the fact that the systems and the Company Values where but mere words on paper, there to protect the Company and not the people who worked there.

I spent about 8-10 months going through their systems and appealing. During that time the bullying and intimation got worse, I was ostracized, treated like a leaper, not spoken with or communicated with, I was stopped from attending meetings, not advised of works/plans/changes/outcomes, my staff were given work without my knowledge and advised not to discuss with me, my budget and yearly plans where changed without my knowledge, I was prevented from doing my job to the best of my ability because I was not included, my role and responsibilities were changed without my knowledge. I would throw up before going to work, throw up at work, my blood pressure was sky high.

I WAS a high performing, functioning, director who was highly capable, inclusive, fair, firm and reliable. I fell apart when it became personal and I crumbed after 12 months of continued abuse when I received an anonymous email with just one word on it - QUIT.

I was a broken, mess for quite some time and still don't believe I am back to the person I once was.

My Art saved me from going under.

I tell myself - Be strong, stay strong, control it so it doesn't control you :)